Sega Reads Too Much Fanfiction

Recently, Sega released a survey regarding Sonic the Hedgehog mobile crossover games.

Naturally, you may be asking yourself "Why the hell should I care?" And you would have a good point. Despite the constant competition for the title of "Most Cancerous Fanbase," Sonic the Hedgehog has nothing to do with My Little Pony and this is, after all, a "news" site dedicated to miniature horses. In fact, why am I even writing—

While the survey is no longer accepting responses, the multitude of more legitimate news sources than ours reporting on it means that this is likely a real survey. But just in case you're still skeptical, let's take a brief look at a couple of these news sources:

Gamespot,  for example, was kind enough to make an informative video about this Sega survey along with some other stuff I don't care about. The first thing I noticed about this video is OMG IS THAT A GRILL? With a British accent, no less...

LONDON

Then there's a brief bit about some Fable: The Gathering Kickstarter project that is hoping to raise 250,000 pounds. That doesn't sound like all that hard of a goal, especially if the Sonic and Brony fan communities are going to come together...

At about a minute in, the video brings up the aforementioned survey, which asked questions like "What words do you associate with Sonic" (FAST) and "What sports would match Sonic the best" (GOING FAST). The survey then asked about crossover games:

These aren't as bad...

Maybe I just don't want to believe, so I had to keep digging in hopes that this might just be an elaborate ruse. But then it popped up again on My Nintendo News, where I even found this masterpiece in the comments section:

I joined the multitude of characters injured during the course of the video when I cut myself on all the edge.

So it looks like the survey is real, which means we just have to pray that this survey goes the way of most other surveys and is ignored with nothing real coming out of it. A Sonic-My Little Pony crossover is such a bad idea that even the autism incarnate that is the Equestria Daily comments section largely agrees that it's a terrible concept.

If that wasn't enough to deter anyone at Sega who thinks this idea might be a good one, all you have to do is type "Sonic My Little Pony" into your Google search bar and see THE FIRST FUCKING IMAGE THAT COMES UP:

And boy are there a lot more like it

I can picture this masterpiece of a crossover now: Princess Twilight Sparkle's Sonic the Hedgehog's crown, the element of magic, Chaos Emeralds are stolen by Sunset Shimmer Dr. Robotnik, who disappears into a mirror that leads into the human world Equestria. Without the crown, Chaos Emeralds, all the other Elements of Harmony Sonic will have no power to protect Equestria, Mobius, so Twilight and Spike Sonic goes through the mirror to chase after the culprit to retrieve her crown the Chaos Emeralds. He discovers himself in a new world where Twilight is a teenaged human girl and Spike is a talking dog, there are talking horses everywhere, and finds friends that resemble their pony friends from Equestria fulfills our lifelong dreams of fucking cartoon horses make friends to stop Robotnik from taking over the world with the red-and-black alicorn OC he made in his lab to take over Equestria like omg guys it's super strong and powerful and is stronger than Celestia Luna and the Mane 6 combined and his parents died when he was young so he's super edgy and... (etc). Twilight Sanic works with her friends to become Princess of the Fall Formal FASTER, FASTER, FASTER FASTER FASTER to win his crown Chaos Emeralds back from the human Sunset Shimmer Dr. Robotnik and to change the destiny of these two parallel worlds.