FallenWish 2: Return of the Jew

Editor's Note: The article is incredibly fucking long, heavily opinionated, and almost certainly not worth your time unless you're into this sort of thing. A TL;DR can be found at the bottom. Happy reading.

M'Jew

Remember that article about FallenWish practically conning her fans out of their precious shekels? We don't, but in an unsurprising turn of events, our fair lady has fallen victim to the receiving end of her own devices. The man behind the curtain, the Jew that out-Jewed the Jew, is none other than a brony "analyst" named ToonKriticY2K. A miser who managed to successfully swindle shekels out from under FallenWish's crooked nose.

CAN'T WAKE UP

You know, there are plenty of free guides out there on color theory and how to not make an awfully generic red and black OC. Anyways, while I could continue lambasting his poor choice in aesthetic, the purported heinous offense is that Lord Shekel-Stein here is apparently refusing to hand over $700 USD that he owes to FallenWish.

First, a bit of backstory.

I have to go through some pretty commendable mental gymnastics in order to wrap my head around how you can accidentally give someone $1355. Whatever; long story short, Shekel-Stein shorted FallenJew out of $700. The money was supposedly for CiderFest and JewWish entrusted the Shekeler with the money. Fortunately, some kind act of divine intervention prevented her from attending.

Of course, we can't take only her side of the story, we have to give JewKritic a chance to defend himself. I'm sorry in advance for those who wish to read through this shit.

"Would you mind not sharing this with Limbo or anyone else?" Don't worry, I'm sure she won't.

It hurts.

Shekel-Stein claims that PayPal "glitched" and caused him to spend all of FallenWish's money in his PayPal balance on his own personal shit, instead of his credit card. I've used PayPal since 2007 and can attest, like anyone else who has had minimal interaction with the service, that it shows your payment method on the confirmation page before each and every explicit transaction you make. For all intents and purposes, ToonKritic is full of shit.

However, let's give him the greatest benefit of the doubt and say that PayPal did in fact fuck up beyond his control. The first elephant in the room is how he did not notice before spending all the money. He stated that he made several different purchases that would have required several separate transactions through PayPal. Thus, the service would have had to have "glitched" many times in successive order. If that were the case, he should have also noticed the PayPal balance decreasing after each purchase. I like to go with the hypothesis supported by the fewest assumptions. Then again, even Occam's razor is less edgy than his OC.

The second elephant in the room is gonna bring back our favorite term: fungibility. ToonKritic initially meant to spend funds from his credit card, but mistakenly drew the funds from his PayPal balance. What, then, is the problem with simply charging his card as originally intended and instead use the original funds to pay back FallenWish?

Bonus round with the third elephant. He claims that he can't pay her back because he needs the money for other purposes immediately. That's all fine and dandy except for the fact that his original payment method was a credit card. You know, those fancy things you charge with credit now and pay it back later?

But it's all okay, because he's sorry.

Really sorry.

Story ends here. FallenWish gets her shekels back. Everyjew lives happily ever after.

You all wish you can finally stop reading this shit and go shitpost in the comments section, but you're not leaving Mr. Shekel's wild ride just yet. Pay attention to the dates; there is a two month gap between the previous chat logs and these ones. The following chat logs are even more fucking useless than the last ones; feel free to skip over them unless you have a thing for sadomasochism.

Two months later, surely ToonKritic's financial troubles should have gone away and he should now be able to afford to pay FallenWish back, right?

Of course not! What kind of man do you take him for?

Look's like he's still adamant about it all being an accident. An apparently irremediable accident, but an accident nonetheless.

Kill me.

I've sort of stopped paying attention at this point. I hate to say this, but I think I'm starting to agree with FallenWish; I'll attribute it to my progressive loss of sanity as I continue trudging through this conversation.

Your time is up. Your time is now.

FallenWish becomes rather blunt with her attempts at blackmail, but who's gonna listen to her and air all this dirty laundry out? Guys?

Ah yes, I too can attest to not getting enough Patreon shekels to buy myself a new Porsche. Well, I could if Horse News had a Patreon. Oy vey goyim, I just had an idea...

"You JUST gave me proof." The irony is palpable.

From what I've noticed, he's gone full deflection mode and attempts to turn the blame over to FallenWish. Additionally, he says, and I quote, "I can't pay back huge sums each month." I wonder if he considered smaller sums on a monthly basis. Perhaps he could've started paying her back, I don't know, two months ago when the incident occurred? He did say that it would say "2-3 months" after all.

"Ask yourself this. What do you have to gain from all this?" Common sense would assume her money, ToonKritic.

The conversation is over. He won't be blackmailed.

At all.

It's my life! And it's now or never!

It's done. It's finally done. 

We're free.

I have to admit, I'm rather impressed by his ability to build a concrete wall of absolute denial around this entire incident, blaming the whole fiasco on a PayPal glitch yet refusing to remedy it whatsoever.

TL;DR:

FallenWish entrusts ToonKritic with $1355 for CiderFest. FallenWish couldn't attend and ToonKritic spends $700 of her money. FallenWish demands the money back; however, ToonKritic's shekels mysteriously disappear and he gives her only a promise to repay soon. Two months pass and no money has been returned; consequently, the two lovebirds continue bitching. Threats of blackmail are thrown but are never acted upon.

Oh wait.

Coincidentally, we've gotten word that ToonKritic has allegedly repaid FallenWish after he caught wind of this developing article. He hoped that such an obviously unprovoked and spontaneous change of heart would help him reconcile with FallenWish and, as a result, save face. With the bitterness between them concluded, there should be no reason to report on this development.

Oops.

SAVE ME

See you at Pacific PonyCon, ToonKritic!