Larson Announces Bid for President

If the clusterfuck of Republican presidential candidates has taught us anything, it's that just about anyone and everyone is running for president these days.

And, of course, that this man should win.

Earlier today, M.A. Larson joined the array of potential presidential candidates by announcing his bid for office via Twitter.

Larson will most likely run under the Free Pony Party, meaning he will compete with their perennial candidate Vermin Supreme for the party's bid.

In a bold and daring move to inspire belief in him and his campaign, Larson has taken the audacious step of having his official Presidential portrait done before even being nominated.

His campaign staffers have already undertaken the hefty task of trying to make up ground in a presidential race that is well underway. When asked what he thinks about overcoming such great odds in his potential route to the Oval Office, Larson had only this to say: "Hey, if you think that's large, you've never seen a BronyCon attendee!"

But while Larson's signature wit may win him over some voters, his choice of staffing his campaign entirely with coworkers from "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" has been questioned by some.

Despite an array of "pls responds" sent on my end, Donald Trump could not be reached for comment. However, the Donald Trump Insult Generator had plenty to say about Larson and his campaign:

I wish Donald Trump-senpai would insult me!

In terms of other Republican candidates, the only answers we got from the rest of the field were an incredibly angry and homophobic letter from Rick Santorum addressing his views on our love of miniature horses and a return question from Jeb Bush about how this would impact his ability to win the Latino vote.

On the Democrat side, Hillary Clinton first said she was a fan of Larson's work and was fine with his involvement in what many consider a cult fandom. The next day, however, she found a public opinion poll showing that the majority of Americans are against bronies and immediately retracted her previous letter.

Bernie Sanders, however, was much more sympathetic to Larson's candidacy, saying at a recent campaign rally "Hello, people of—" "BLACK LIVES MATTER! BLACK LIVES MATTER! BLACK LIVES MATTER! TRAYVON DINDU NUFFIN!"

This picture isn't actually relevant.
I just wanted you all to know true pain.

Larson has not officially declared a stance on any major issues yet, but what kind of journalists would we be if we didn't rampantly speculate on these kinds of things with absolutely no evidence or reason?

Same-sex marriage:

Larson: "I ship it."

Keystone XL Pipeline:

L: "Actually, I wear a 2XL."

Gun Control:

L: "My concealed carry permit may one day be my only defense against the hordes of neckbeards."

Immigration:

L: "No zebras."

War & Peace:

L: "Too long, didn't read."

The Economy:

L: "Buy my book."