Steven Universe Axis powers declare war on brony nations, invade in name of purification


It was the single most futile act of aggression since the pony fandom civil war of 2014, when the Axis forces of the Steven Universe fandom moved to declare war on the neighboring, much larger My Little Pony fandom. Führer Joanna Blackhart delivered a speech to her several troops, declaring that they would be invading the neighboring nations, purifying them, and returning them to their natural "nonbinary trans women masterraces".

"Diese Darbietungsreihe gehört den Frauen + trans + nichtbinären Gemeinden. Wir werden euch bis auf den Grund des Meeres ziehen, um sie zu verteidigen." Blackhart shouted, hand outstretched. "Sie. Ist. UNSER.
Und im Übrigen. Wir nehmen Mein kleines Kleinpferd wieder zurück."




Political analysts believe the Steven Universe leaders were angered by the massive loss they suffered in the last World Fandom War, at the hands of the brony allies, who overwhelmed the axis forces in nearly every contest of strength. The Gemfan leadership has begun spreading propaganda messages declaring that their nation's sorry state is the fault of the bronies, and have called upon their citizens to expel and destroy all the men within.


Shortly after the initial assault began, the nation of Beach City surrendered, waving white flags tied to their baguettes. 


On the other side of the Twitish channel, Heather Churchill gave a rousing speech rallying the troops, reminding the pony nations that we have nothing to fear, except fear itself, because we're afraid we might have peed ourselves from laughing so hard.


The Axis propaganda machine has continued to churn out new messages to bring more troops to their cause, and has dug in preparing for the allied invasion, set to be launched on Normandy Beach City.



The SS (Super Steven) Officers have pledged a Reich that will last 1000 episodes, which may have been the case, if not for the fact they are fighting a war on 2 fronts. Many of the fans within the Steven Universe community are in-fact men, and pony fans themselves. This group has pointed out that "Really Everyone Deserves" Steven Universe, so they have taken to calling themselves the RED Army.


The RED army has launched an attack from the other side, bombarding the front lines with pornography while the Allied forces have begun positioning themselves to land on Beach City. 


Things look bleak for the axis aggressors, who have had little luck attracting allies, while even causing SuperWhoLock to laugh at them.


http://ianjq.tumblr.com/post/113822858559/are-you-aware-of-the-people-calling-themselves


At press time, the allies had begun their landing maneuvers.



Posted Monday, 16 March 2015 at 7:49 pm
Labels: , ,

Comments (83)

  1. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 19:59

    Really HN? You'd go as far as to trigger WWIII just to hide the rampant nepotism and cronyism within your ranks? Are you sure you don't have ANOTHER charity to announce soon? How convenient!

    But really though top kek, just what we needed to hold the last few hiatus weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 12:29

      >Implying Horse News started Gemgate
      To be fair, Tumblr got triggered by Calpain and overreacted (like usual) and a couple of anons just wanted to piss them off by taking advantage of this situation. I was in that thread, this is just about pissing them off

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3 May 2015 at 14:23

      Here are some sites posted from some hypocrite fanboys with a lot of sand in there pussys

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2fe73T6suI

      http://steven-universe.wikia.com/wiki/Thread:49280

      https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Hate-steven-universe/1453723491578579

      there so laughable!!!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 20:02

    we've found the baby war https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1KPRMoN3Tk

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 20:03

    holy shit its just a cartoon

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mister Twister16 March 2015 at 20:05

    Lolle

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 20:39

    The United Soviet Stallion Republic will crush the Gem scum

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 05:31

      Damn anon that name is to good to pass up.

      Delete
    2. Unknown26 March 2015 at 01:37

      Don't you mean the United States of Americolt?

      Delete
  6. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 21:12

    Oh good lord.
    Man, I miss the days when we all liked The Simpsons, and the Internet wasn't widely accessible. And we listened to cassette tapes- not because they were trendy and hipster-cool, but BECAUSE IT'S ALL WE HAD!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 21:16

    So...they've basically destroyed their own fandom. They are calling to arms, asking everyone to be "as toxic as possible" to the "invading bronies." In practice, this should play out like the red scare did in america. They'll just be huge assholes to each other, and in the end their fandom will be unwelcoming to everyone involved. Good job tumblr. A+.

    So at the end of the day, the brony fandom welcomes all with open arms. The SU fandom is a hateful, toxic den, full of porn (from tumblr no less) and self righteous entitled womenchildren, most of whom are pedophiles judging by the vast amount of porn they've drawn of poor steven. (It's also interesting that the titular character is a white male, you'd think they would hate this show.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 22:04

      "It's also interesting that the titular character is a white male, you'd think they would hate this show."

      But that would require them to not be a raging hypocrite, which by all appearances is a massive faux pas in Tumblr's SJ community

      Delete
    2. Vinzenz Stemberg16 March 2015 at 23:47

      But don't you see? It's beautiful! They make it so easy to play against one another! We must only get them to admit they like ponies during arguments, and BAM they r dun!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 00:51

      It's not so much that they hate men for liking ponies (although, let's be honest, that's almost precisely the root cause of their butthurt) so much as they've gotten it into their heads that the *entire goddamn brony community*, spanning millions of people across the entire developed world, is composed entirely of misogynistic pedophile furry rapists. Any pony fan who's already part of the SJ hugbox is obviously exempt, as they have already been pre-approved and declared free of nasty male cooties.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 19:34

      Bruh, I love that last part.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous25 March 2015 at 00:41

      Eh... I wouldn't call Steven "white." Even though he is half-human, he still is pinkish.
      Besides, I have counted maybe 3 white characters total in that show. Which is a HUGE LEAP considering that fucking Teen Titans Go has maybe 5 generic black guys and one black protagonist put there to balance the show out racially.

      Delete
  8. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 21:35

    On /mlp/, the mods are deleting/banning people who post and talk about SU. Additionally, on /co/ the mods have shut down several threads of the SU general. They are apparently worried it's going to become the "next MLP".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 22:16

      let /b/ fuck shit up one more time like they did in 2010

      Delete
    2. Unknown16 March 2015 at 23:34

      Or /mlp/ mods are stopping SU threads because perhaps it's not MLP related? /co/ is just a raging asshole. Nothing to see here folks.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 00:15

      Halfchan worst chan

      Delete
    4. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 03:56

      There's always fullchan /su/... and /co/

      Delete
    5. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 05:41

      UNLEASHE SLASH B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Opens the cage
      butch of babies come crawling out
      poopoo peepee cocka

      Delete
    6. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:26

      hello darkniss my old friend read the first 4 letters

      Delete
  9. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 22:04

    I found this to be incredibly hilarious. As for me, I've watched a couple of episodes of SU and absolutely loved it. So I'm just going to enjoy both shows and wait for everyone to stop being such big babies. As usual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vinzenz Stemberg16 March 2015 at 23:49

      Most of octabooru and 8chan's /mlp/ has been watching it since last year! Git gud skrub!
      Also Littlest Pet Shop, though the quality there has gotten as wild as S3's. srsly, it started off SO WELL too... Fuck Blythe the show needs to be about the Biskit twins taking over LPS from the crazy old nag.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 08:30

      So literally never, then.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4 September 2015 at 17:13

      Hmm, I agree. I have no idea WHY the two fandoms are at each other's necks. SU is awesome, and I don't want this stupid "war" to destroy the show for others.

      Delete
    4. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:28

      our go to a differant fandom

      Delete
  10. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 22:55

    The autism fucking flows. Jesus christ tumblr.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous16 March 2015 at 23:16

    A typical day on tumblr, I see.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 00:29

    Jesus, the special snowflakes are going full retarded...Never go full retarded. There should be a requirement that every person that uses the internet accepts that they are going to find things on said internet that they don't like and if they get butthurt they need to log off for like 3 days and go outside or some shit... seriously just fucking deal with it....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 00:53

    So now they're gonna go out of their way to bully any pony fans who want into the fandom, because the bronies would clearly be a terrible blight on their demonstratedly wholesome, friendly and welcoming community, I guess?

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatever makes their sad little lives a bit brighter, I guess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 17:35

      It gets more hilarious when one stops to realize that it's very likely to assume that... let's say, half of the Steven Universe fandom are also part of the MLP fandom.

      Delete
  14. gonzopony17 March 2015 at 01:32

    stop enjoying thing I enjoy in way that is different to mine way of enjoyment 2, electric boogaloo

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 01:37

    I didn't care about Steven Universe or it's fans until today.
    Now I know they're complete fucking morons.

    Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indigo Michigan18 March 2015 at 19:13

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:31

      not all.....don't be like them

      Delete
  16. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 02:00

    What a stupid show let them keep their shitty universe.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 02:59

    Can i have a real German translation of fandomandfeminism rant,please

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 05:43

    God, I love these articles!

    Those posts about being hateful to people. Wow, Tumblr.

    Seriously though, if an existing fandom doesn't seem very welcoming or friendly and people really like a thing, they'll just make their own faction. If new folks find the new faction friendlier than the pre-existing faction, people will probably side with the newer, friendlier faction.

    This is a great example of How Not to Fandom.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 05:55

    The irony is just delicious.

    "Steven Universe: A show that features a diverse cast with complex characters, it touches on the subject of isolation, depression, abandonment, various forms of love, and all kinds of subject matter that a regular US cartoon wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole being held by someone else."

    "Steven Universe Fandom: LET'S GO TO WAR BECAUSE THIS IS OUR SACRED THING! What was that about the members of the SU fandom who may or may not already be bronies? Dividing up like this is a monumentally stupid thing to do, and that we should be allowed to like whatever show we want? And that it completely violates the tone and spirit of the show by declaring war on a group of people that aren't like us? And maybe we shouldn't characterize an entire fandom just by a couple bags of dicks that we find? Pft, what faggot said that? TO WAR!"

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 07:09

    He's a fan made character that will start appearing in season five of MLP, when humans are introduced.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 10:02

    It's fucking tumblr. who cares what they think.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 11:52

      Nobody does, anon. But I love seeing them getting buttmad.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 13:50

      Like Anon @11:52 said, no one, but their anal bleeding is just too hilarious to ignore

      Delete
    3. Anonymous4 September 2015 at 17:14

      True.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 13:57

    So the SU fandom on Tumblr's response is to crash their own fandom, with no survivors?
    Talk about cutting off your own nose to spite your face.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 14:02

    So who MAKES steven Universe?

    Someone should show them the shit Tumblr does in the name of its "show" and the hypocrisy they have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 14:46

      Rebecca Sugar. Some people who work on the show/comic for it seem to be aware of the situation so I wouldn't be too surprised if Rebecca Sugar does too.

      Delete
  24. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 15:27

    lmao

    ReplyDelete
  25. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 18:54

    Steven Universe is gay.

    My Little Pony is really, REALLY gay.

    Why can't we all just get along?

    ... on that note, leave Gravity Falls alone you CIS shit ass fuckers. Seriously, I'll kill you all. Being tolerant and understanding, of course, you get a warning.

    Yes, I'm thirteen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 20:23

      You win.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous10 April 2015 at 00:13

      "My Little Pony is really, REALLY gay"

      my little pony is not gay is just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo queer for that

      Delete
  26. Anonymous17 March 2015 at 22:02

    There is no real concept of the individual for SJWs.

    If a bad person is within [group], it reflects on the entirety of the group. If a man rapes, Men Are Rapists. If some bronies enjoy rule 34, All Bronies Are Cloppers. The worst possible example is always held up as the group identity. Of course this doesn't apply to the groups they (seemingly randomly) designate as oppressed, but that's always because of the oppressors (who are uniformly straight white males). In fact, a ton of bandwidth is spent making these precise arguments.

    So here, we see this logic play out: if a Brony, who they define as the most awful brony post they've ever seen in their lives, begins to like Steven Universe, it invariably dampens their own identity as Steven Universe fans.

    It's fascinating but also hilarious

    ReplyDelete
  27. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 08:04

    As a person who neither sits on the girls but merely observes I laugh at the pitiful fights
    -signed a concerned citizen
    (Points if you get the reference to a concerned citizen)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 14:19

    Not good.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 14:45

    Here's an interesting terminology for them, feminazis! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 16:48

    meanwhile i will see how everyone are destroying themselves on internet C:

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonyme18 March 2015 at 19:14

    This is fucking disgusting, TV Shows are for anyone who finds interest in them- IN light if we cant have a fandom because it was not made for us, then should us men take back the things made for us? It is sad to see in a modern era, people who cry for equality still think there race is the master race, it is that reason there is sexism, there is racism, people focus on the group rather than the individual, people don't consider that- there is a breathing, thinking intellectual (that can be debated for some) human being behind that screen. A human who has laughed, cried and has felt some kind of emotional response, not considering that person's emotions, or what defines them as a human being, there are people who indeed say they are trying to better the world for equal reasons, but then say that "This is ours"or that is "Yours" its the same exact concept as me saying that because Football is a male sport, Woman should not be allowed to take part in the celebrations of football, it is the same thing as saying that because Dragonball Z has marital arts, and was a show based for the male teen gender in the 90s, that Women fans should not exist. It is the same kind of atrocity that caused the holocaust, the crusades, the killing of the native Americans The idea that, "We are better, this is ours, we will take it" It is these kind of people who would waste time fighting about this, and distracting people from the real issues in the world, the real problems that need to be addressed and spoken, like how the US Goverment's Senate is entirely republican, or how 42 Goverment officials had committed treason by disrupting an international peace treaty with Iran. Or how climate change will drastically effect the Middle North American Continent, the same thing that happened to the Sahara Desert is slowly happening to the Middle US, or how Yellowstone is showing ACTIVE signs. We need to focus on the things that could kill lives in the BILLIONS, not this fucking "this is mine!" "no it is mine" "MOMMMYYYY" bullshit. I don't want to die in vain because of human ignorance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:02

      this make me sad that these people don't have brains

      Delete
  32. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 19:34

    *Does not watch either show*
    *Hears about the drama and searches google about it*
    *finds article, shakes head, and grabs popcorn*

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 19:56

    Check out what I added to the first tumblr post:

    http://the-daft-hatter.tumblr.com/post/114004271579/joannablackhart-fandomsandfeminism

    ReplyDelete
  34. Anonymous18 March 2015 at 22:13

    "Be as toxic as possible. . ."

    That's pretty much the entirety of the SJW ethos. And they wonder why everyone hates them.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Titanium Dragon19 March 2015 at 07:15

    See, the proper solution to this is to report the blog in question to Tumblr for promoting hatred of people based on race, sex, gender, ect.

    They have a community guideline policy against it.

    If people just reported these users en masse every time they did it, they wouldn't be on Tumblr anymore because Tumblr would get sick of dealing with the reports.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous19 March 2015 at 10:56

      But what would that accomplish? They'd just move on to LiveJournal and keep spouting their shit. Being kicked off their favourite website thanks to the actions of the people they hate anyway isn't going to make them any LESS bigoted. If anything, it'll feed their persecution complex even more. The fact that what got them banned was hate speech will not matter for anything, because SJWs have no concept of irony or hypocrisy and possess no capacity for introspection.

      Delete
  36. Anonymous21 March 2015 at 11:30

    You guys really should have tagged your triggers.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous25 March 2015 at 22:28

    What I dont get is the SU fans being ignorant... THE INTERNET will destroy it. THE INTERNET will send hentai, porn drawers to invade SU. Mlp was great on its own... THE INTERNET shot some rule 34 at it. People liked it, thus people started creating their own. It just so happens that since furries, hentai lovers, porn watchers can find a connection for sex.

    Show about ponies = Bestiality = brings furries

    Show circled around 3 girls? = lesbian = gonna bring literally like everyone

    Unless a show was about faceless buckets, their is no way anything can endure THE INTERNET

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 17:55

      lol true

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:15

      A SHOW ABOUT LIFE. WHACH THEM SHIP THEM SELFS

      Delete
  38. Unknown26 March 2015 at 01:42

    Okay I wanna pissof off some feminazis. How do I get a peace of this action?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous28 March 2015 at 19:07

    I think it probably would have been fitting to have put a mention of Universe News as "the UN" in the article.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Anonymous8 April 2015 at 23:53

    he!

    imagine them react to the Uncle Grandpa/Steven Universe crosssover....

    0H WAIT! 8D


    http://critics2d.blogspot.mx/2015/02/steven-universe-crossover-episode-with.html





    it has begun >:)

    ReplyDelete
  41. Mattwo9 June 2015 at 15:30

    "while even causing SuperWhoLock to laugh at them"

    You know you screwed up when you're one of those "sensationalist feminists" yet you can't even get part of tumblr on your side...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Ice Matoro8 August 2015 at 23:59

    Goes to say, Cute & Kind kid friendly shows are definitely a hate magnet lol

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anonymous29 October 2015 at 22:07

    All I can even say is this. Lets take a lesson from young justice. Most production companies if they draw the wrong kind of crowd then what they were anticipating. They shut it down....This could literally be a nail in the coffin for their own show if they continue on this path. Hasbro took a different approach and went hey, we are selling a crapton more toys, grown men have more money, lets roll with it!!! They slapped their labels on the toys and made more shows. The people behind young justice said they didn't attract the right crowd and shut the whole damn thing down. Do the creators of SU want to be associated with hate mongers? we'll see....Bronies welcome anyone, these morons are trying to force people out. Side note, I would love to see someone redraw a comic similar to this with SU fans in place of the yaks!! http://didj.deviantart.com/art/MLP-Comic-Party-Pooped-alternate-ending-544841157

    ReplyDelete
  44. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 17:58

    this is a stupid war im in 6 fandoms and I have my right to like what I like.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:04

    VERY

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous18 July 2017 at 18:34

    no its patrick

    ReplyDelete

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