Bronies everywhere are outraged at accusations that My Little Pony is now unsafe to search for little girls, made by neo-feminists in response to the latest Ghostbusters. "You have perverted a show for ACTUAL children and ten have the gal to cry about your kiss my entire ass" cries tumblr-user "SpookiePie", on a post that has received over 128K notes.
"This is bullshit!" responds one anonymous pony fan. "I tried searching "My Little Pony" on Google and didn't find anything! You promised me there would be porn!"
"This is just flat out False Advertising," complained another fan. "They said there would be tons of indecency and degeneracy when I Googled "My Little Pony". Even with Safe Search off, I haven't found shit! What a ripoff."
It was true. Our research team set out on a mission to find all of the smut that was claimed to come pouring out at us when "My Little Pony" was searched for. To our dismay we had to scroll all the way to the bottom of the image results before we found anything remotely questionable, and that was this "Pony Centipede" made on Etsy.
"It's all "SafeSearchWrapUp's" fault." Explains one disappointed clopper. "They're an entire group dedicated to finding and flagging all the perverted pony pictures to keep them OUT of Google Image searches. Killjoys."
And it's true. Unlike most fandoms, bronies have been diligently flagging smut for years now.
"If this is the way things are going to be, I might as well join a REAL cartoon fandom, one that DOES have smut on the first page of Google," he says, typing into the search bar. "Maybe something like Korra, where typing her name into the box gets stuff like this on the first page!"
"It's very disappointing to be lied to like this, especially when every character in the world - fictional or otherwise - HAS been sexualized by the internet. Have you seen The Amazing World of Gumball porn? It's great! Then to be told that you can't even search My Little Pony without finding smut, only to not find anything immediately? That's just not right."
At press time it was confirmed that tumblr was still asspained about bronies for the 4th consecutive year and is conveniently ignoring the porn made of every other cartoon franchise, much of which is made by thier own userbase.
Now I'm interested which pony has the least pron-free result pages. Probably RD, but you never know.
ReplyDeleteWell if you want to become a respectable member of the Horsefucker Academy of Smut Science (HorseASS), you'll have to devise an experimental protocole in order to test your assumptions.
DeleteIn other words, go fulfill your destiny and seek the fable Google Search ponuts. Good speed, Anon.
My browser history is not tainted. No that doesn't mean I never clop you mongrel, just means that I am an equality clopper.
DeleteRD: first suggestive page 3 (pants), first grimdark page 5, no explicit sex in the top 20 pages.
Most sexually suggestive: female cosplayer.
Pinkie: first suggestive page 4 (naked anthro, featureless), first grimdark page 7, no explicit sex in the top 20 pages.
Most sexually suggestive: picture of Pinkie as a Toy Story type toy with a battery compartment flank. I'd even call it cute: http://imgkid.com/pinkie-pie-r34.shtml
Applejack: not counting the "eyes", first suggestive page 4 (anthro bra),no grimdark, no explicit sex in the top 20 pages.
Most sexually suggestive: inflation fetish pics (no naughty bits revealed)
Rarity: first suggestive page 4 (but wggling, pony, no bits), no grimdark, first explicit sex page 15 (doggy style, anthro, no way to identify as Rarity apart from "Wahahaaa" text).
Most sexually suggestive: page 15. 5 or 6 really suggestive pics too.
Fluttershy: first suggestive page 6 (close up plot, no naughty bits), first grimdark page 5, first explicit sex page 19 (ponut).
Most sexually suggestive: page 19, a few ahegao pics
Twilight Sparkle: first suggestive page 3 (anthro naked, featureless), no grimdark, no explicit sex in the top 20 pages.
Most sexually suggestive: a lot of pants, high socks and raised plot (a good dozen)
Total amount of Mane 6 porn pictures: 4
Biggest tramp: Rarity, what a surprise. Runner-ups: Twilight, Fluttershy. big whoop.
I am very disappointed by the lack of IWTCIRD I found, because I found exactly 0.
Bonus --> Royal butt competition:
Celestia: 6 butts, 2 inflations (starts at page 6)
Luna: 5 butts, 2 inflations, one bonus point for Luna holding a picture of Celestia's best.
It's a tie!
Can I be a scientist now mum?
dont you mean NAZI-feminists there the ones that diluted the actual meaning of equality for females and men
DeleteWhere is your null hypothesis anon?
DeleteYou guys hit the nail right on the head yet again.
ReplyDeleteDo you bronies and anons even know how Google searches REALLY work? Nice to know you bros love to simplify something as complex as Google search by saying "I turned safe search off. I got no porn or gore" Bull. Shit. And you know it. Here's how it really works:
ReplyDeleteGoogle search results vary according to the user’s browsing history (unless they opt out), geographical location and some other stuff — and if you’re expecting to be able to replicate someone’s search results in your own browser you’re gonna be disappointed (the quit searching that stuff then excuse bronies give). What’s likelier hmm??? Person A is actually getting different results to Person B, which is an established thing which is shown to frequently happen, as a deliberate result of a feature of the Google search algorithms? Or..... Person A is making up results for some reason? Which of those is more likely hmm?
Nice work HN. Nice one bronies. You've proven JACK SHIT. Again. But hey like I've said before: who else but bronies?
So what you're saying is, Feminists and 7 year-olds have a browser history that is more likely to get porn results than horse fuckers do.
DeleteNow that explains A LOT about the state of feminism, as well as America's youth.
Horse News writers, with MOUNTAINS of Porn in their search history didn't find anything, and you're telling us that 7 year old girls find the stuff?
DeleteYou only proved their point further
I actually mailed the OP this information earlier and her response was so delusional she probably didn't even realize all she was doing was telling me she definitely searches up all this kind of stuff in her own time.
DeleteWhat sort of mental gymnastics are these special snowflakes performing? I mean, I actually draw My Little Pony porn and my search results are nearly identical to the ones Horse News published.
Given the amount of MLP porn I look at on a regular basis, according to your post there should be a ton of it when I Google terms related to the show, but I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. How much porn do these young girls have to look at before they start getting the results you described?
DeleteMikey D, I've known you since the Fuck-No-MLP and derpibooru shitposting days and I gotta say... have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you could indeed actually be autistic?
DeleteIt's one thing to not like fandom porn. I get that.
But to get so inherently and unnecessarily butthurt over it? And to get butthurt over the same bullshit arguments over and over again? Really?
There's a reason Mulp quit the Fuck-No blog, and it's raging little lolcow spergs like you that's the reason why, not bronies.
Gee, Ponies-Over-Bronies, your baits are getting boring.
DeleteI think the problem with Ponies-Over-Bronies, like most of tumblr, is that this individual is too stupid to know how stupid they are. Poor thing.
Delete"have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you could indeed actually be autistic?"
DeleteProfessionally-diagnosed asspie here; rest assured that we don't want to be associated with this faggot any more than you do.
>2015
Delete>still whining about bronies
>still whining about pony purity
>still whining about MLP in general
PoB, are you familiar with the idiom "beating a dead horse"?
Ponies-Over-Bronies is some sort of false flag, nobody is this fucking stupid.
DeleteMike Dawson (the tumblr account that's linked in OP's name) has a history of being a very similar retarded little bitch, though.
DeleteReal hard to tell if they're the real deal or not. You can never tell with tumblrinas these days.
>2015
ReplyDelete>being on the internet
>not knowing about rule 34
it's for everyone the same, not only ponies....fucking tumblr plebs
I said it once, and I'll say it once again:
ReplyDeleteThe internet is an adult place with little or no regulation. Sure, there's stuff 'for kids' on the Internet, but i don't think it's our responsibility to make sure that we 'keep it safe" for younger users. I'm not trying to legitimize adult themed stuff related to MLP, though I sure as hell have nothing against it, but I think the very nature of the internet entails that young kids should be careful when browsing it.
You can put it like this:
You don't let a child see a wrestling match and then ask the people around you to stop swearing because it's arguably bad for the kid.
this, all of this yes
DeleteActually, I could see your average Tumblr user doing that.
Delete>Tumblr being giant hypocrites
ReplyDeleteWait, that still classifies as news?
We must never stop pointing it out, because many of them are genuinely too stupid to figure it out on their own. It's a form of public service, really. Like helping an elderly person cross the street.
DeleteFor fucks' sake, I google "Rule 34" pictures with SafeSearch off and most of what I get is people being creeped by the fact that Rule 34 exists, what the fuck is this.
ReplyDeleteAnd on a serious note, to be honest, what kind of a sick fuck would even consider letting any kid below twelve to browse the Internet alone? That's what I want to know.
Your browser remembers your search histories. It compiles what you go searching for and decides Oh he wants to see porn of this because well he's searched for it billions of times before! Of course you're gonna find rule 34 shit with safe search off you fucktard.
DeleteYou missed the point. When I googled for "Rule 34", I got people's complaints about porn, but no actual porn.
DeleteTsk, looks like she doesn't want to play anymore
ReplyDeletehttp://spoookiepie.tumblr.com/post/109591363443/im-not-sure-you-understand-the-meaning-of
lol
DeleteReeks of "only pretending to be retarded."
WiCkEd you're being mentally obtuse to these people because they lack reading comprehension.
DeleteYou're being almost as autistic as she is, Wicked.
Delete>inb4 get out spookiepie
How so? IMO stupid replies deserve stupid answers.
Delete>doesn't look up pony porn
Delete>doesn't masturbate in sleep
Hey, check out this sex negative closet brony over here, you guys!
>You're being almost as autistic as she is, Wicked.
DeleteWe've clarified in another post that Wicked is in fact all of the autism of the fandom boiled down into one commenter
I don't get it. She has a problem with some men, who don't like an all female cast in a movie and therefor attacks a fandom, where men do enjoy an all female cast in a tv show.
ReplyDeleteWhat's her agenda? What is she trying to get across? That men shouldn't like female content and therefor not ruin it with their filth? Then why does she have a problem with men disliking female ghostbusters? Shouldn't that make googling for ghostbusters safe?
You're assuming a level of intelligence and critical that people like her do not possess.
DeleteHer thought process is more along the lines of: "MAN BAD! MAN PONY FAN BAD! UGGETTE SMASH!"
>google My Little Pony
ReplyDeleteFirst explicit encounter was some gore on the third page
>google Ghostbusters
Boobwindows galore on the first page
I've been hearing a lot about this all-female Ghostubusters thing. It sounds... weird. I haven't been following it, so I don't know a lot of the details, but can anyone explain why exactly they're doing this? Besides just to appeal to feminists, I mean. Like, what has the director said to justify it as a creative decision?
ReplyDeleteI'm not really opposed to to the ideas of cast changes, female Ghostbusters, or even all-female Ghoustbusters (like anything else, I like to see the movie before I judge it), but it seems like an incredibly arbitrary change to me, especially in a franchise where the four main characters that we already know have been so central to every iteration of the concept before now. And the actors too. Even if this gender politics thing weren't brought into it and it was a new all-male cast, I'm still not sure I'd ever want to see a Ghostbusters movie with no Bill Murray.
Well, considering that the actors involved in the original Ghostbusters movie are either old as shit or dead, they couldn't exactly use the same people. For all we know it's going to be a movie about a Ghostbusters franchise in Chicago or something. I don't think they've leaked any real details beyond 'these 4 women are our MCs'.
DeletePersonally, I really enjoyed both films and the 2009 vidya. If you've not checked out the latter and are a fan, I suggest you do so.
But change happens and I'm fine waiting to see how it pans out before passing judgement.
I know the game, yes. And I am aware that the surviving actors are older now and that some audiences don't like that (Crystal Skull springs to mind). Personally, though, I've never minded older actors returning to a part as long as an appropriate amount of time has passed in-story and it makes sense. A returning Doctor being older, for example, wouldn't make sense because of time travel. Similarly, it doesn't make much sense for a terminator to have aged like Arnold has in the Genisys trailer.
DeleteBut in the case of the Ghostbusters, having the original MCs return is as easy as saying "The events of the last movie ocurred during the eighties. This is set in 2015". Minus Egon, of course.
I suppose, thinking on it more, the most compelling argument against making the original cast the MCs again is actually the fact that we would have no Harold Ramis. It would be a weaker movie for his absence. But if they are in fact doing a plot about a separate Ghostbusters team doing their own thing, in some future world where the Ghostbusters have expanded their business, I still hope for the remaining original cast to put in some appearances at the very least. I'm really hoping they're not doing some reboot thing where Venkman, Stantz, Egon and Winston are all women. THAT would be dumb.
Quite hypocritical, since SJWs are all perverts who give 4channers a run for their money.
ReplyDeleteFuck, we're on a blog for autists who fap to cartoon horses, yet the average comment here indicates poster's IQ to reach at least 120.
ReplyDeleteThis is the "scum of the fandom", y'all.
120 seems a bit reaching, I'd take off one of those digits if I were you
DeleteI don't know how you knew he was rounding, but your're right, we can take off one of those decimal places.
Delete119.7 is easier than 199.73
maximum autist achieved
DeleteFYI, Autist is not a word. You're pushing that average down a few points.
DeleteHorse News breaks the big stories that everyone worries about; "Someone Disagreed With Me On The Internet!" More at 11.
ReplyDeleteIs this these SJW's embodiment of a self-causing virgin/whore complex?
ReplyDeleteFrom what I can gather, those SJW's values the earlier generations higher the the current one (like the hipsters they are) simply because of its "impopularity" and "innocence" and thus want the little girls to have the same untruthful uprising as them. It's nothing more than a game of "get off my lawn" than anything else.
Well, the hymen is a myth and studies have shown that little girls actually have stronger proto-sexual fantasies about boys than the opposite. Wouldn't it be nice if THAT reality was addressed? I fully trust Megan McCarthy to create stories in the show that addresses that (complete with the female gaze). That benefits us all.
If there are lots of women that see sex as more than a bargaining chip and treat their end as "MUH GATEKEEPER," then the current system can survive. If women are freer with their sexual relationships, it eliminates the power that women have over men in their eyes. This is why women are the harshest about "sluts" often, because promiscuous women destroy the system that they're entitled to where they just have to say "I AM GIRL" and men fall in line.
DeleteBeing super gay for penises, I hate the idea of Lady Ghostbusters! I can't write gay erotic fanfiction to with a bunch of chicks flopping their boobs all over the place! #GhostGate
ReplyDelete>not just writing a genderbender fanfic in that case
DeleteDo you even gay?
Just throwing it out there, the greatest part of this article is the fact that it is directly following the article about the 'I'd like to teach the world to clop' video.
ReplyDeleteLyrics:
I'd like to teach the world to clop in perfect harmony
I'd love to watch big macintosh deflowering a CMC
I'd love to make this fandom drown in pure indecency
And make a simple little show as naughty as could be
I consider it unsafe for ME and I'm an adult! it's awful!!!
ReplyDeleteto be fair, a lot of those notes are pertaining to reblogs that tear it a new one, like this post: http://tenaflyviper.tumblr.com/post/109523966470/spoookiepie-feminists-are-taking-over
ReplyDeleteNah. If the note count on a tumblr post is at 150,000+, I automatically assume that post that has reached full tumblr circlejerk.
ReplyDeleteTumblr needs a new note system. Denoting how many likes reblogs and comments there actually are.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that always gets me is that these feminists never point out that a lot of female driven things have the same problems. Go back to the early days of the fandom, and a young girl typing in "Twilight Sparkle" was more likely to get things related to a not child friendly book and film series, which includes a lot of very child unsafe fan works. It myself came across a pale sparkling dildo (that could be put in the fridge for authenticity) when searching for pony. Then we get searches for Spike and Angel. Even alone they are likely to bring up things related to a child unfriendly TV show, especially before Bronies flooded the internet with Pony. Even now, a search for Spike and Angel along will get lots of buffy related NSFW, and somehow I don't think it's the male fans (at least not the "cis-het scum" type who are supporters of that ship. Let's not forget that before Bronies came along, the shipping industry was almost entirely female dominated.
ReplyDeleteIf this was true: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GXdTmwt8gB8/VMubUauZQvI/AAAAAAAABzM/4xeUu4V6Mss/s1600/B8jA0umCEAA2MsO.jpg
ReplyDeleteThen you can say whoever watching Beyond scared straight is a psychopathic murderer .... no it does not make sense , you can't judge a fanbase based on a stereotype.