M.A. Larson announces Presidential Bid - #Larson2016



Unsatisfied with Vermin Supreme running uncontested in the upcoming 2016 Presidential Election for the Pony Party, Mitch "Coronate a bitch" Larson announced his candidacy today. A stadium of his supporters were seen chanting "Buy His Book! Buy His Book!" in unison, at an inaugural rally outside of Hasbro headquarters shortly after the announcement.

 Fairly confident in his victory, Larson has already announced his platform and vice president for his ticket.

#Larson2016 kicked off with Mitch laying down his highly-praised "mandatory stargazing" plan. Political analysts believe this will be the first of many "More Creativity Less Bullshit" reforms that he will propose as part of his platform.


Much in the way that Robin Williams did in the underrated comedy "Man of the Year", Larson is apparently building his cabinet largely on whims, declaring someone named "Misha" his Vice-President.

Analysts predict that "love and tolerate" will be cornerstones of his marketing campaign.


Despite his Hollywood cultural ties, Larson is out to prove that he is not a weakling, as he has proposed bringing back the death penalty via guillotine, for such criminal offenses as being a fan of "Dancing with the Stars".

A strong contender it is unlikely he will make it to the general ballot in 2016, which is why a write-in campaign has been mounted and is already drawing some traction.



If you would like to work for the "Larson2016" campaign, send an email to larson@presidency.com  


Posted Thursday, 15 January 2015 at 10:23 pm
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Comments (8)

  1. Unknown15 January 2015 at 22:52

    Does that email actually work? 'Cause I'll do it. Larson 2016 all the way.

    He couldn't possibly be worse than whatever smug pieces of shit will be running next year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dogman1516 January 2015 at 05:34

      Let us know if the e-mail bounces back.

      Delete
    2. Unknown16 January 2015 at 08:14

      Well I sent an email and it didn't generate an error, but then I went to presidency.com and I can't find Larson anywhere. Just trivia about Obama.

      Delete
  2. Unknown16 January 2015 at 08:13

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown16 January 2015 at 08:15

      Fuck I don't know how to work this comment system. I'm making an ass of myself.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous16 January 2015 at 19:03

    M A Larson is the one who made twilight a princess

    He coronated that bitch

    This is HN's version of the "Wings" joke that they declared dead last year

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous17 January 2015 at 09:57

    Not even on the ballot yet, and I already like him more than Obama.

    Then again, I like a lot of other people than Obama...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous20 January 2015 at 11:37

      I'm definitely not voting for him again, that's for sure!

      Delete

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