PSYCHE! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH GOALS!
Four weeks of divegrass filled with high tensions and some of the mightiest teams brought together into the same cup has finally come to a close (aboutamonthago), with one of the two original boards finally earning a cup to their name. As we moved into the knockout stage, Horse News asked some of the One True Elite Team's managers their opinions on the upcoming matches.
"What do you mean they're holding a tournament? In AUTUMN?" - Feedback, /mu/
"The hell's a Babby Cup?" - Snorlax, ex-/mu/, 4CCC (acting Commissioner)
Some of the highlights of the three-week long Group Stage include:
-A new ebin Ved track to listen to as you pray for the Winter Cup to come closer
-Four brand new teams - two earning Nuevo Elite, one probably to earn Eliterisk
Joining the already mighty 56-team 4CC league are four newcomers, each (mostly) earning their place in the grandest of tournaments. /i/ - Oekaki and /t/ - Torrents each earned their spot in the knockouts while also taking out a few old-flames as well. /i/ striker & captain Shi-Painter even broke a record for the fastest goal in 4chan Cup history at 1 minute and 20 seconds in the last match of Group H against /sp/./wg/'s little animu brother, /w/, took to the Group Stage hard and fast, earning 7 points but sadly not garnering enough GD to compete with fellow Group B strongmen and eventual Top 4 finalists /wg/ & /e/. Fret not /w/ fans, for the team has earned a comfy 17th place spot, meaning that if one team qualified for Winter fucks up entry, they are permitted to play and earn a spot next to /asp/ as Eliterisk. (It is worth noting that at least one team has fucked up entry to an elite cup since Winter '14, and with the amount of "dead" teams already qualified for winter, it's looking like a very Wallpapery Snow-Season) Sadly, the most hyped-up new team, /biz/, was unable to win a single game this competition. You'll get 'em next time guys!
-Once again, big teams are proven their mortality
/a/, /sp/, /k/, /co/, /pol/, /v/ and even Winter '14 Champs /trv/ have all failed to advance from this Babby of Fallen Kings, the last earning the poop-flavored "Last Place" Medal. Yes, while Jeff Mangum and the /mu/ brothers await their lost brothers' return at the door, they will be instead opening it to the return of /m/, who has re-launched their colony, and /wg/, their omnipresent rivals. Even the homeboys at /mlp/ were given a grim reminder of loss when they stepped into the ring against /hm/.-Spooky Scary Halloween and DrBorisG's Birthday
To open the last weekend of the Group Stage, the 4CC celebrated Halloween with a great big custom model party. Teams had spoopy anthems, a Giant Skull ball gave /g/ an opening-match 5-0 blowout over /c/, a pumpkin was seen entering goals, and even /x/'s Pyramid Head stepped up to ref the matches in The Void, home of the current 2nd-place ranking team.The following day was the birthday of the Head Rigger himself, DrBorisG. Thanks were given, crashes were had to ruin the party early on, but /mlp/ swooped in to save the day with a special poster and anthem at the end of the day to put a smile on the Texan Rigger's face. We love you Boris!
Yes, the Group Stages were filled with blowouts, /sp/ tears, and the best part, JINGLE KEYS. The knockouts were drawn, and the real blood bath began.
The Round of 16 proved to be tense as ever, with the opening /tg/-/mlp/ game ending 2-2 and forcing benuldies to take out the team with the ever-Best Fans in the cup. You're the best at what you do /tg/! May good fortune and natural 20's roll your way in the future./wg/ proved their Group B shakiness was hardly a fluke with a handy 2-0 win against /i/, while /g/ faced off against a re-furbished /m/ and proved that robot software needs to be free.
/s/ had a Spring Cup '14 rematch with their animu sister /e/, with similar results. The real strength of /e/ was shown; their ability to get into a groove(ing magic) and score multiple goals in a very fast sequence, a trend that would continue into the future rounds of competition.
/n/ would prove as SOLID as ever, /sci/ and /t/ ended in an ebin Benuldies coinflip, but the highlights of the day were the last two matches. /b/ would go from down 2-1 in the last 12 minutes of gametime against /lit/ to score two goals from Puddi and The Fappening to make a miracle advancement, and McBob would prove his worth as the hero /vp/ finally got with a win over strongman /ck/.
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| It's funny because the /wg/ manager's name is Tom |
The /g/-/e/ (gee gee gee) match was a tense 0-0 affair for most of the game, neither side looking to really gain an edge save the off strong /g/ attack. With no manager to make changes, /g/ manager OMP made the decision to go 4-20's sliders in Extra Time to try and recreate /gd/'s Summer '14 success. It didn't go so hot, earning ENF and Yoko Littner a brace apiece and turning an equal 0-0 match into a 4-0 blowout in less than 15 in-game minutes. You were a worthy opponent in the groups OMP, and should be proud of how far you took /g/, breaking a team record for best placement in a tournament.
The /n/-/sci/ match followed a similar formula to the previous, neither side looking to gain a strong
advantage, but /n/'s SOLID state was enough to break through the strong /sci/ line and earn a late goal from Tite Gapz, much to the /n/ manager's surprise, who immediately reacted with, "Tite Gapz did something useful?!?"
Early goals from /b/ and /vp/ looked to bring another tense Quarterfinal, but /b/ finally found their flow in the second half, earning three goals and putting and end to the #MCBOPPED streak. Go give McBob a big hug whenever you can, he's brought /vp/ to the Elite cup for the first time in two years and earned the Pokemen their first ever Knockout victory.
The Semi-Finals brought together four of the oddest assortment of teams, the Summer 0-0 queens of /e/, strongmen /wg/, a revitalized and SOLID /n/, and the /b/tards, eager to make an even better performance than their Summer '13 Third-Place trolling run. A /wg/-/e/ rematch started things off, with two early /e/ goals and an attempt to answer by Cunt Destroyer leaving things 2-1 at the end of the half. /wg/ manager Tom assured our reporter on the scene of his victory, and just after making his comment the uptown girl herself Headphone Girl scored for /wg/, equalizing the match. Things were looking up as the momentum shifted in /wg/'s favor, but a wild crash at 66:33 forced a restart, sealing the record-breaking team's fate. After the game was reset, ENF scored a 77' goal past Bliss. Despite their best efforts, Tom and his box-headed boys would be looking to their very first 3rd-Place match, and a potential third-time Top Three finish./b/ had put a stop to the #McBoppening, and /n/ proved that SOLID was the true state of matter to /sci/. Both incredibly strong teams, ready to duke it out in the semi-finals. Skipping on the Kickoff Abuse, /b/ favored an early Trolled 2 Death goal, putting /n/ manager Vaughan on edge. His woes were quickly silenced, as another early goal, this time from I Like Trains, matched /b/'s scoreline. Tense and embroiled in one of the tighter matches of the cup, neither /b/ nor /n/ looked to budge an inch. Just as it looked like the match was going to extra time again for /n/, The Fappening broke up with all his ex-girls, freeing himself from their burdens and giving the strength to put one right past Airport General Mk. IX late into the match, bringing /b/ to their very first 4CC final.
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| ABSOLUTELY UNSTOPPABLE. |
The /b/ and /e/ Grand Final was initially a quiet affair, both incredibly strong teams looking for any opening to get the edge above their opponent. Just before the first half closed, all of /b/ cheered as /b/ legend Triforce BROKE UP WITH HIS EX GIRL. For the first time in a very long time, /b/ had a Cup Thread, pulling in huge amounts of viewers, with rumors of raiding /e/ regardless of the outcome. Despite /b/ manager Captain Planet not being present for his match, Giga Puddi was still able to rally his boys for another go at the net while Fukkin' Saved really really really liked to keep balls out of his own side's goal. The final ended in a climactic 2-0, and as Big Rigger DrBorisG called in the old /b/ manager, scores of anons ran rampant across /e/, posting the worst of the worst. One bystander was quoted as saying, "It's like we kicked the hornet's nest letting /b/ win, but the hornets are all assholes anyway".
Also, if you'd like to play with the Autumn Hype Machine, get it here.
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| I found this funny for reasons. |
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