Rainbow Rocks reviewed by an Asshole

 

My turn.

I was lucky enough to get to see Equestria Girls 2: Electric Scootaloo this week and I have more than a few things to say about it. Prepare your anuses, I'm going in.

My expression going into the theater.

In a general sense, to be certain, the movie was all-around surprisingly good. It had some really good character development, the great art we're so accustomed to, and some scenes that made your entire body physically curl into itself from cringe.

Specifically, this scene.

I'm not going to waste your time recapping the movie again; the other folks at HN here have done a great job of that so far. I'm going to address some specific issues here.

The Useless Demigod Sisters

This movie saw the return of a lot of the same characters from Equestria Girls 1, including background students, the CMC's, and of course >no hooves Mane 6. In addition, we also saw the return of everyone's favorite fictional school employees.

Besides Feeny, of course.

Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna are the most useless characters of the movie. These folks, who are all-powerful in Equestria, get taken over by not-yet-superpowered sirens who convince them to turn a non-competitive musical soiree into a battle of the bands. Of course, had the sirens had any sense, they'd have realized that everything is a competition to high-schoolers, whether you call it a battle or not.

Flash Sentry disses Twilight: A hundred husbandos rejoice

"I'm leaving you because >no hooves." - Flash Sentry

Halfway through the movie, Brad McCorndog decides he doesn't want to shove his polish sausage into Twilight's toasted buns anymore. In this scene, which brings twilight to tears, made me laugh so hard that I nearly choked on my popcorn. Thanks for almost killing me, Meghan McCarthy!

This scene

Made you look.

 In seriousness. How could you not adore that Sunset Shimmer smile?

Sunset Shimmer as a Character

Throughout the entire movie, Sunset Shimmer is--like Meghan McCarthy--trying to live down the last movie. Everyone hates her for her past, won't give her a second chance, and she is resigned to rolling her eyes every time someone mentions what a terrible villain she was in EqG 1. I mean, seriously. She was just a downright awful badguy.

The old me was really bad at formulating plans, wasn't she?

That said, Sunset really redeemed herself in this one. She took on a support role that actually fit in with the rest of the crew's dynamic and didn't feel forced into the group. There was potential for her to be a shitty add-on, like the 5th Ninja Turtle, or Scrappy-Doo, or the green Power Ranger.

Yeah, I said it. FUCK YOU, TOMMY

Dash

I have to say it, and it hurts me, as a die-hard Dashie fan. Dash was a cunt this movie. Of course, I'm hand-waving that by saying that HUMAN Dash is different from PONY Dash. Yeah, that's it. They're just different characters. It frustrates me so much it makes me want to punch a pony right in the face.

Oops, sorry, Dashie.

Seriously, though. Dash was just an absolute terror. She almost caused the badguys to win. I get that Rainbow Dash is competitive, and that she is sometimes callous, but she is also loyal to her friends and I think the "Dash forgets about other people's feelings" button is getting pressed too much these days. Just my 2 bits.

Conclusion

There were a lot of good points to this movie, and I really do recommend that you go see it. A lot of the problems from the first movie were not prevalent here, and even the number of references to pop culture was lower. EqG2 might just help me survive the hiatus.

UNLESS MAUD KILLS ME IN MY SLEEP