Greg "Pinkamena Dash" Palmer, and the Lyra plush he attempted to sell on eBay |
SPRINGFIELD, IL -- Local brony Greg "Pinkamena
Dash" Palmer is out a $750 plush after sending a scammer the toy without
receiving payment.
"This was my first time selling on eBay and I was hoping
to sell a discounted and gently used Lyra plushie to a fellow brony" explains
a visibly shaken Palmer.
Palmer, a 24 year old part-time cashier at Dollar General,
posted a listing on eBay for a pre-owned Lyra My Little Pony toy earlier this
month, planning to make an upgrade to an anthropomorphic Twilight Sparkle love
doll. The auction finished with the highest bid at $750. It was shortly after
the auction finished that Palmer received an email from the buyer with
instructions enclosed.
"She pinkie promised me she would send me the money
through Western Union as soon as the package arrived to at her house. It was a
pinkie promise!"
According to eBay veterans as well as directly from the
internet commerce giant themselves, sellers are recommended not to ship items
to buyers until payments have been received, processed, and cleared by PayPal,
eBay's transaction processing service. This policy is standard practice for
virtually all e-commerce businesses.
Palmer stated he waited daily for a deposit from Western
Union for a week and a half before suspecting he had been scammed. At this
point, Palmer decided to contact eBay and local police. Local police recently
met with Palmer in his apartment discussing the details of his plush and give
hands-on assistance to Palmer with forwarding the scam-related emails to the
police department, while making no promises about being able to retrieve the
plush or arrest the alleged scammer.
Police outside of Palmer's home after discussing the details of the alleged scam |
"At this point, the plushie was probably dead-dropped to
an empty lot and is now halfway across the world to Russia" states local
cyberpolicewoman Michelle Andrews. "And if Palmer is unlucky, semen hackers will
recover sensitive bioinfomatic personal information about Palmer and potentially steal his
identity and siphon all money out of his bank accounts."
Palmer, who already was facing hard economic times and
recently placed a $1000 order for a Chinese-manufactured Twilight Sparkle love
doll, started begging for donations on his personal Tumblr blog, and is hoping
the generosity and kindness of the brony community will help him through the
struggle.
"I had no idea such mean-spirited scammers on the
internet would try to steal money from a friendly brony. They surely could use
more love and tolerance in their lives," remarked Palmer, as his tears
dropped from his eyes into his bowl of Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream.
Area locals were not very sympathetic towards Palmer.
“He’s a retarded idiot for falling for a scam like that,” remarked
area local Maxwell Jennings. "I can't believe he's asking for people on the internet for handouts after making such a stupid mistake."
As of the time of writing, police investigators have
submitted a search warrant for Palmer's residence, citing suspicion of indecent
material depicting minors within Palmer's apartment.
so is this even a real story?
ReplyDelete>labels: satire; trying to hard
Deletelrn 2 reed m8
This satire could still be at least loosely based on an actual un4chanate incident. ... The names would have been changed though.
DeleteI think it's actually skillfully written exactly because it's not easy to figure out whether it's all completely made up or only the obvious parts of it.
I'm actually planning on selling pony shit on eBay soon. Thank you, Horse News, for showing me how to do it!
ReplyDeleteShit, I have a whole set of the rainbow power toys from McDonalds, unopened. I work there, so I stole the whole lot of them with the plan to ebay them off later to make some major bank. An ex manager used to ebay the toys all the time. He claimed to make a decent profit. I checked ebay a few weeks ago: whole sets going for under $5. My plan to exploit the bronies and McDonalds collectors during the holiday season may not be as profitable as I thought it would be.
Delete>gently used
ReplyDeleteYeah horse news dude's falling on hard economic times, but you forget he is white so... he ain't gonna fall hard at all lol.
ReplyDelete