Cringe Corner: "Friends with Benefits" comic (NSFW)

Let's face it, I don't think any of us are strangers to the internet's abundance of "unsightly" material, especially the ones involving technicolor ponies. As it would also turn out, we also have a plethora of cringe to spill over in to something as sacred as our pornography. And oh boy do we have something for you. What starts out with just a few bad designs ends (or at least comes to a stopping point) so badly, it's disheartening to say the least.

(I was told to add something about the uncensored porn so here's your warning. But seriously if you're on this site at work you deserved to be fired)

From the makers of apparently nothing else I've ever seen, "My Little Porny: Friends with Benefits" comes from the minds of Ness and Kaith, and is unfortunately available on Inkbunny.net, home to 99% terrible furry art, and 1% that range from "meh" to "pretty good."

To start off, I don't expect fan comics to be on the level of companies like IDW, but what is going on with this cover? What the fuck is that's silhouette supposed to be? Is it Twilight? A mangled dildo? Not only this, but what is up with Rarity's mane in this? I'll give credit, Twilight and Spike look alright but that mane. Is this what the hair of a Snookie pony would be li-

.....

I hate the internet sometimes. 

Alright, well maybe I'm being a bit too harsh on the cover. I mean, what is the story anyways? Maybe it could be alright. And surely that edgy spray painted "R" to spell "My Little Porny" (which is a copyrighted live porn production, certain people really take their "copyrighted shit material" serious so be careful there) won't be indication of how bad this is going to become, right?

Page one

Oh great. One of those stories. Okay let me explain something, and this is going to kill our ratings with Sparity shippers but it must be done. Even if this isn't real and just a cartoon, in the established world this is pedophilia. If you want to write a story where spike has matured and they hook up, that's fine I guess, but this is still the concept of fucking a baby dragon. Not only that, but is this seriously ripping off Sex and the City and those ancient prune's sex gossip table discussions? Really? When you're borrowing shit for shit, it's not going to end pretty.

Alright, so not only is Twilight TOTALLY COOL with Rarity making whoopie with her baby dragon brother/son/friend/assistant/[insert head cannon here], but she wanted Spike to pop her cherry grape.

Wait, wait. Okay, one positive point. I've noticed this amazing trend in these cringe comics and pictures where we have just the absolute perfect reaction faces. Seriously, tell me this isn't gold.

"My god Draft, it's so small."

So at this point, in sympathy for her friend who hasn't experienced the magic of intercourse, Rarity devises a plan. She decides to tell her baby sex toy about Twilight's love for him, as well as pimp him out. By which I mean destroy the grape.

Spike = Reaction Image 2

Well are you ready, reader? No seriously this is THE part where it goes down. I mean I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I first saw this comic. What you're about to see is not only infuriatingly awful, not only does it go completely pedophile, not only does its sudden change make absolutely no sense what so over, no only does the art style completely change, but this managed to make the Horse News staff go flaccid. You heard me, flaccid.

Seriously, you are getting no more warnings after this.

I mean it man, turn back while you can.

...

You idiot.

Yep, you're seeing this correctly. This comic has gone from simple bad colored sketches of ponies, to full on terribly detailed and disproportional anthro. With tits that are bigger than Twilight's head and hanging to her belly button, and a puffed out vagina that looks like a clamp on a work bench. Twilight also appears to have double jointed arms, ears as big as her face, and the stomach of a chiseled man. 

Look, if you're going to draw a comic, do not switch the style of your characters right in the middle of it. Draw porn of horses, draw porn of humans, or draw porn of anthros. Hell, even if you ARE going to switch styles out of the blue, at least have the fucking knowledge of how to draw both styles in a way that isn't the equivalent of bloody anal leakage.

Oh and this isn't the ending. You see after the reveal of "Twilight's sexy body", we see an equally terrifying Rarity who then reveals Spike to the comic reader, but not the blind folded Twilight. Why she revealed something to a person who's blindfolded, I have no clue.

Look. Big dicks in porn is nothing new. Spike in porn is nothing new. Antrho is nothing new. Terribly, terribly, not ironically, god awful porn comics are nothing new. However, combining these elements with a baby dragon who now suddenly keeps the face of a small child but the body that was attempted to be drawn as Channing "Three Toed" Tatum is just beyond explanation. He even has a face that looks like he's about to get molested. Then you give him a dick as big as his leg with speed bumps on the shaft and balls as big as his chest.

I think it's safe to say we need to stop.

or not

So far, there's only a cover and six pages to cringe at. At this point, we're left with "Beach Ball Rarity" making Twilight thinking a giant, warm, scaly dick with breathing and reactions is just a giant dildo. Then they giggle at it. Now considering at some points it took more than a week for an update and this last page was posted 9 days ago, you could expect new material soon. Which means we can't burn this with fire just yet.

I need a drink. Capper, can you buy a round?

Horse News staff members on the night shift

This is the Horse News disclaimer removing any responsibility from any suicides connected to our article's subject matter. Remember, Mr. Rogers loves you, even if he is dead.