When Hasbro first came up with the idea of making a movie with our beloved miniature horses in a different form, the now-Equestria Girls team immediately went to work designing ideas to make this awful unoriginal cliche surefire catalyst of the fandom's demise new concept work. At the end of a long day of basically shitposting hard brainstorming, they presented Hasbro with a list of potential MLP-related spinoff movies.
Rejected for showing guns |
Equestria Grills
No, not the qt3.14 >implying I lift for type. We mean full-on, coal-fueled, outdoor, downright-got-damn-American grills. The basic story started with Bulk Biceps grilling a chicken breast after a hard workout to achieve max gains. However, before he could even flip it over to cook the other side, his grill fell through a portal into an alternate dimension. Because nobody else in Equestria was about to deal with this shit, Twilight Sparkle was called in to recover the lost grill. Upon going through the portal, she discovers she is in a new world and has herself been transformed into a qt3.14 grill.
She soon finds out she is pls be in London in a world just like her own, except for the fact that everyone there is a grill. She quickly finds out that all the charcoal grills in this new world are being oppressed by none other than their leader, Hank Hill Princess Grillestia, who clearly favors the far-superior propane grills.
Twilight Sparkle must not only recover Bulk Biceps' grill but also must find a way to overthrow the propane-maned Princess before the traditional charcoal grills get sent to the gas chambers.
The story was mainly rejected due to a highly raunchy scene involving Flash Sentry slow-roasting his meat on the grill version of Twilight Sparkle.
Spoiler: She really liked it... |
Equestria Curls
Rainbow Dash was out one day practicing her Sanic Sonic Rainbooms when suddenly, a magical portal just happened to open right in front of her. As she was moving too fast to stop, she had no choice but to go through it. When she arrived on the other side, she found that she was in a new, human body... AND WAS FULL-ON SKELETON MODE!
lmao1pl8 |
With the help of her new trainer, Principal Zyzzlestia, Rainbow sets out on a quest to achieve mad gains before the competition in order to beat Sunsquat Shimmer. Her loyal friends, including Twilift Sparkle and Applejackedasfuarkbruh, do everything they can to stop Sunsquat, like curling in the squat rack on days she tries to work legs.
Caught u mirin |
Equestria Guuuuuurls
Basically the same as the finished product we all saw in theaters, but set in Harlem. And all the characters are black.
Remember, it could have been worse... |
This concept was rejected due to lack of length, as Twilight was shot and killed within five minutes of arriving in the new world.
Ekushtria Girls
Exactly the same as the Equestria Girls we have now, except the ending was Twilight Sparkle waking and finding that the entire experience was just a bad drug trip.
Yo Twilizzle, les go light dis chronic up in tha bathroom |
This concept was rejected because Hasbro felt it was too easy on us and they wanted to see us squirm.
Equestria Goyels
Twilight Sparkle is charged with managing the royal finances in Equestria because the princesses are too cheap to hire an accountant. After making a poor investment decision, she is banished through a portal to a distant land to teach her a lesson.
Upon her arrival, she notices that everyone in this new dimension has a large nose, curly hair, and a kipa on their head. She goes to the nearest building, a temple, where she disturbs the secret Jewish ritual of sacrificing a baby to the gods in order to ensure a bountiful harvest of shekels.
As an angry mob of Jews led by Sunset Shimmerstein chases her, Twilight is aided in her escape by none other than Princess Investia. Twilight must now help the princess infiltrate the temple and slay the Jews hoarding the world’s shekel supply within, freeing up the wealth for the rest of the world.
The team was never heard from after pitching this idea. Hasbro stated that they were “let go,” claiming that “they knew too much.”
I would have believed this was real if the one they choose was better than any of these
ReplyDelete"Sunset Shimmer grows a characteristic moustache, becomes even more power-hungry, rallies a group of like-minded people and starts plottin' to take the rule of the school in her own hands. Idea was rejected after several petitions from a certain media network."
ReplyDeleteI actually can't believe they didn't make that joke.
Now wait a second, why exactly did these get rejected? Pretty much all of these are substantially better in every way. Even Equestria Guuurls' 5 minutes of story is more than what was in the movie.
ReplyDeleteTwilight is undoubtebly the best gril, but flutter-chan is my waifu because shes the most kawaii
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is the premise wasn't unworkable. It could have been good, even if Hasbro's designs for the girls are and always will be hideous. But no, McCarthy had to write the shallowest script she could bash out over a weekend. Despite that, a majority of the fandom ate it up like spoon licking slow people.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are all crazy. The movie was enjoyable as it was.
ReplyDelete