PinkiePony Fighting to Ban April 1 from Calendar

Prominent fandom bitchy entitled teenage girl social justice warrior April Davis, better known as PinkiePony, has just embarked on her latest internet masquerade.

Official picture of April Davis

This time, she will be targeting a day of the year.



Davis is striving to eliminate the day of April 1 from the calendar for reasons linked to the day's significance.  She claims that the unofficial holiday on April 1, known as "April Fools Day," is a direct personal attack on her.

Le fooled face, allegedly originally targeted at April Davis

"It's another attempt by the patriarchy to get me to stop fighting for what's right," claims Davis.  "I'm sick of these damn judgmental disabled-phobic CIS-classist oppressive poc-misogynistic CISHET-normative dandyamourous-racist subhumans trying to force their hatred towards me onto society."

Davis attempted to file a lawsuit against the Gregorian calendar, but her (parents') lawyer informed her that the United States court system does not allow cases against inanimate objects.

Vending machines have killed 37 people. Not a single machine has been convicted. Where is your justice now?

A local judge who wished to avoid some form of bullshit retribution from Davis remain anonymous was confused as to why Davis is so upset over the issue.

"The Gregorian calendar has been in use since 1582.  You can't just change it like that.  And the custom of April Fools Day dates back to the B.C. era, millenia before this girl was born.  How can she think it makes fun of her personally?"

Rough translation: "I ain't sayin' she a fool, but she the type of bitch to give Nero a Nobel Peace Prize"

Davis, however, remains steadfastly convinced.  She also states that, once she is able to successfully eliminate April Fools Day, she will work to eliminate the use of the word "fool" in general, as it is offensive to people who are born fools and have no control over it.