Big Brony Survey 2014

For those of you who couldn't figure it out from the title or the above image, some survey's results have been released and are available for viewing here. For a summary and highlights of stupidity, read below.

The survey starts with a gender pie chart. 80.6% is male, 17.7% is female, nothing too surprising here. More interesting is the fact that .7% of the fandom is both a male and a female at the same time, and yet more interesting is that .4% of the fandom is neither of them.
Transgender identity is 2.3% MtF, .7% FtM.

The only thing worth noting regarding age is that the average age has gone up by 0.7, which doesn't actually mean anything. 94.2% has never been married, but the amount of married people has still gone up by almost 90% compared to last year's approx. 2.5% - now 4.7%.

The report then rejoices to announce that now a whopping 25% of bronies are not complete social outcasts and have been in a serious relationship in the past 12 months. This is apparently a great improvement over last year's... 24%.

A lengthy section follows telling you that everyone is where you'd expect them to be from - vast majority is Clapistan with Bongland in second position.

A picture for ants

The next section basically tells us that most bronies are American white middleclass and that 72% of them live with their parents.

Amongst those 22 and older a large percentage are liars as according to the data only some 3% are collecting unemployment benefits, 45% are working full time, 20 part time and around 17% are unemployed.

The amount of entirely delusional people has been reduced from last year's 83% to only 79% as now a whopping 21% answered "Yes" to the "Are you a furry?" question.

The next segment dealing with sexual orientation required some editing by the HN design staff to make it more easy to understand as the original was sadly plagued by way too many choices available.

Original joke donut steel

The results show that the brony fandom is roughly 100% homosexual.

And with the above chart begins the section that's actually related to ponies somehow. I know, right? Who would've thought after all this something would have to do with ponies. So what does this tell us? Over 60% of the fandom are newfags.

The amount of people to attend cons and meetups has risen about 4% to 31.3%, but the amount of people who'd want to do it is more than twice as high which suggests bronies' mothers know better and won't let them go cons are not accessible enough for families and need to crack down on oppressive patriarchy supporting males to increase con attendance by the general public which is frightened by the prevalent rape culture.

The concept of keeping your stupid autistic hobbies to yourself is lost on bronies as the vast majority wouldn't have problems displaying brony behavior even in a romantic situation (>implying), let alone public. In retrospect that 25% figure suddenly doesn't seem that low. 

75% of the fandom continues being delusional as they claim people who call themselves bronies are not embarrassing at all, but at least now a whopping 40% admits that bronies try too hard to convince others to watch the show. Some 12.5% of female fans are special snowflakes and 11% of male fans are special snowflake enablers as they suggest female fans of the show should bear the name "pegasisters", as one really dumb name just doesn't quite cut it, two would suit better.

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TRIGGER WARNING: 

OPINIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU WISH HITLER WAS STILL ALIVE

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The 75% figure keeps making comebacks. The next segment, simply and misleadingly titled "Show Attitudes", lists 4 statements and respondents got to pick a position from 5 options (strongly agree, slightly agree, neutral, disagree-variants). Now the least offensive one is the "Discord should have stayed a villian" statement, 46% thought that Discord's redemption was a good idea and 20% thought it wasn't. "Equestria Girls was a good idea", the majority of the fandom doesn't seem to give a fuck, probably because they didn't like it but they fap to the porn anyway. However, almost 22% likes the porn so much that they went out of their way and claimed they "slightly agree". 37.7% has some resemblance of taste and responded negatively, while 11% is clinically retarded and went with "strongly agree". "I like Twilight Sparkle as an alicorn", the brony agenda is strong with this one as the way the question is put is misleading and asking a notably different question from the one that should be asked, i.e. "Turning Twilight into an alicorn was a good idea", the response is still disgusting with over 60% responding positively and only 12% objecting to complete shit writing. The last one points out the skewed results of the previous question but no one actually cares once they see

If you'd gotten random hobos from the street to respond to the survey you'd have ended up with better results.

There's a bunch of shit about how like 80% tried to shove MLP into the face of others and that pretty much everyone is pirating, then a load of self-wankery about how the bronies' personalities compare to the general public (protip: bronies are better at everything), though the one that deserves a mention is

yo dats sexist

... emotional stability. Because if there's something that you can definitely, easily tell about this fandom, it's that participants are very emotionally stable. The only area where bronies used to do obviously badly was introversion with about 75% introverts, but over the past year a remarkable 25% of them has become an extrovert and this is no longer an issue either! The surveys should start monitoring people affected by cancer too because test data of definitely not questionable origin would likely show that ponies do, in fact, cure cancer.

The saga of never before seen bad opinions soon continues in the next category that focuses on the show, but first off we're told that by a long shot the primary driving force, the number one reason why bronies watch the show are nothing other than the engaging, interesting and deep characters! Art/animation is #2, stories themselves are 3rd, 4th is music, 5th voice acting, 6th are inside jokes and references, the 7th option was added possibly as a trick question. Why, we first have to realize which one is the 8th and last one: pandering. "Nods to the fanbase". It's dead last, obviously bronies' opinions are not influenced by pandering. What is #7 then? "All ages appeal". That doesn't mean anything. All ages appeal is the combination of the entire 1-6 range. But it's above pandering, which very obviously shows that everyone wanted to make sure to put pandering as dead last, what would that say about us, not having pandering dead last!
However, all of the above quickly turns to dust. The great, well written and interesting characters are the number one reason why people watch the show, right? It's hardly surprising then that ponies who have absolutely no character whatsoever surpassed almost all supporting characters of the show in the "favorite character" poll, with Derpy being #8, Vinyl #10, Octavia right behind her at #11, Lyra #12. Who might be above Derpy then, who is in the #7 position since it's not someone entirely lacking a character? Maybe it's Discord, he's pretty popular. Or Luna, that'd make sense, bronies love Luna, she could be there; hell maybe it's one of the CMC!

No.

#7 is Applejack. #6 is Rarity. Surely #5 must be whoever that stupidly high ranking pony is. #5 is Pinkie. #4 is Rainbow Dash. And finally, in the third position we find what we dreaded all along: Princess Luna. The pony with less than 2 episodes. Clearly, it's the characters people watch the show for. To no one's surprise, #2 is Fluttershy and #1 is Twilight, further reinforcing the notion that when saying "characters" what they actually meant was "fanon characters".

We watch it for the plot characters!

Other highlights include Celestia at #14, Discord at #9, Doctor Whooves or whatever right under Celestia at #15, Cadance actually receiving votes if not many, and several characters that actually qualify for a character instead of just being random background pony #532 receiving sub-5 votes and thus ending up below literally dozens of random background ponies - for reference, Vinyl received 568 votes, Lyra 341, Tom 8, Luna 1960 and Twilight at #1 2474. If you want to be even more disappointed, the full list is available in a single picture here.

In the last few charts they showcase different takes on the same thing, the following 2 graphs only had the shown set of characters available.

And finally, for something on the bright side, something nobody expected: the study has given us something new, something important as the evaluation found that two things with previously no assumed or even conceived connection correlate! So what is this groundshaking discovery? The more extroverted you are, the less you identify with Fluttershy.