Winter Cup Coverage - Weekend 1

It begins! Round 1 of the 4chan Elite Winter Cup is over, with eight nail-biting matches filled with goals, sweat, blood, and 2-1/Saturday abuse. Find more below!

Group A: /a/-/adv/-/cgl/-/cm/

Red Bebop = Trouble

/a/ v /cgl/
Starting off strong, one of the most consistent and honored teams in the 4chan Cup, /a/, duked it out with the havoc-causing /cgl/ seagulls. The match was looking promising for the old guard, especially with managers Tottori and Firo having a red-conditioned Cowboy Bebop under their belt. This would prove instantaneously beneficial, with the green-haired Speagel getting a goal three minutes into the opening game. Fired up, Bert Is A Titan proceeded to colossally choke again and again, unable to follow-up on his shorter compatriot's efficiency. There was enough havoc and mayhem left on the field that /cgl/ frontman Dramu was able to sink a goal not long before the first half ended. Unfortunately for the weeb team, Bert continued to get in the way of Bebop and choke throughout the match, unable to turn any leads and throughballs into anything for his team.
Final Score: 1-1 TIE 

/adv/ v /cm/
The scrappy boys of the 4chan Cup and consistent strong men, Group-topper /adv/ went up against /cm/, a team who pulled themselves back from scandalous fields to the elite leagues after dealing with their own Group of Death in the Autumn Babby Cup. A short time into the match, /cm/ captain Kaworu Nagisa earned his team some net. S/adv/irgin began screaming and crying out to the heavens for some HELP for his team, visions of the Babby tournament racing through his mind. Feeling ever-so-little pity for him, Cheating GF decided to score a goal for her captain. Hyped and excited at the presence of a powerful woman, 5 Inch Dick jumped into the fray and was able to nab an injury time goal. Our reporters can confirm that he got a number after the match, but it was for the /biz/raeli laundromat next door to the stadium. /adv/ is currently the only team with a win on the board for Group A, only needing one more tomorrow to secure their spot in the Round of 16, duking it out with one of the Group B teams.
Final Score: 2-1 /adv/ WIN  



/a/ v /adv/
Final Score: 4-2 /a/ WIN

/cm/ v /cgl/
Final Score: 2-2 TIE



Group B: /sp/-/f/-/lgbt/-/g/

Jesus Christ Bearforce...

/sp/ v /lgbt/
/lgbt/ were known throughout 2013 as the last of the undefeated teams. Until /y/ stepped up to take them down a peg, that is. After the blunder in Autumn, /lgbt/ went knocking on some doors to find new talent to ensure another own-goal header-tier blunder wouldn't occur. However /sp/ was able to check their privilege long before the match, and used their patented tactic of Messi-scoring-once-then-parking-the-bus-like-a-fucking-cement-truck to shut out attempt after attempt by Alfred Kinsey and Bearforce to get a real grip on long hard road the match had become. Another loss was tacked on to the legbutts' streak, and /sp/ was geared to find another way to the Ro16.
Final Score: 1-0 /sp/ WIN

/f/ v /g/

Final Score: 2-1 /f/ WIN

/sp/ v /f/

Final Score: 2-1 /sp/ WIN

/lgbt/ v /g/

Final Score: 0-1 /g/ WIN (sorry about screaming when Bearforce was offsides)

Group C: /toy/-/co/-/h/-y/

/toy/ v /h/

Final Score: 2-1 /toy/ WIN

/co/ v /y/

Final Score: 1-2 /y/ WIN

/toy/ v /co/
Final Score: 1-2 /co/ WIN

/h/ v /y/

Final Score: 3-1 /h/ WIN

        

Group D: /mu/-/u/-/gd/-/gif/

/mu/ v /gd/

Final Score: 2-1 /mu/ WIN

/u/ v /gif/
Final Score: 0-0 TIE

BUT EVERYONE WHO WATCHED THE MATCH LOST HOLY FUCK IT WAS BORING

/mu/ v /u/

Final Score: 1-1 TIE

[loving Jesus Christ intensifies in purity]

/gd/ v /gif/

Final Score: 0-4 /gif/ WIN

Group E: /mlp/-/m/-/asp/-/s/

/mlp/ v /asp/

Final Score: 0-3 /asp/ WIN

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW HORSEFUCKERS?!?

/m/ v /s/

Final Score: 0-3 /s/ WIN

Group F: /v/-/int/-/x/-/c/

/v/ v /x/

Final Score: 2-2 TIE

/int/ v /c/

Final Score: 2-4 /c/ WIN

nth for /c/

Group G: /wg/-/trv/-/ck/-/vr/

/wg/ v /ck/

Final Score: 4-3 /wg/ WIN

/trv/ v /vr/

Final Score: 4-1 /trv/ WIN; COUCHSURFER RAPIST GOAT

Group H: /b/-/soc/-/hr/-/an/

/b/ v /hr/

Final Score: 0-1 /hr/ WIN

/soc/ v /an/

Final Score: 0-1 /an/ WIN

/sci/ manager Aitor Karanka had this to say in the wake of the match before going back to wacky experiments to pull his team out of the Spring Qualifiers,

"It’s pretty amazing what /an/ did against /soc/ on Saturday considering some factors: 1) /an/’s manager has a >mac and therefore was unlikely to test at all 2) Unlike most Winter managers /an/ didn’t have any preset with mindgame sliders (All 0’s, 10’s, 20’s, etc.) meaning that /soc/’s manager had a fair advantage knowing that his rival may have used those sliders and finally 3) /soc/ had a pretty good conditioning from the start with Permalurker in red and 2 of their 4 defenders in red conditioning and adding that /an/’s medals weren’t as good as /soc/’s (barring Honeybadger). We have learned from this game that we shouldn’t underestimate /an/ just because of >mac, may I remind you that /trv/’s manager doesn’t have PES as well and has managed to be just fine as we saw on their game against /vr/," -Aitor Karanka, /sci/

More in-depth analysis to come! 

(that fucking roster isn't going to update itself on the export)

DRAMA REPORT:

During the entirety of /gd/'s performances in the Winter Cup, manager M3OWM1X had been acting strange, even to the degree of many accusing him of sabotaging the team. Funky formations, sending rapid .gif's as instructions to Grand Commissioner DrBorisG, and devilishly rusing said host put the lobster in the pot, but only when word from the /gd/ cup thread began to leak did the screaming start.

According to the art board's Cup Thread, M3ow was planning to relegate /gd/ back to Spring, in an attempt to consecutively hit multiple cups, thereby garnering the team more ranking points and nabbing them a higher pot in the Summer Cup, which would lead to an easier group and a likelier chance of advancing to the Round of 16. The 4chan Cup Committee met in their Fortress of Rigging Solitude Rigging before the announcement was made; M3ow was banned.

Ripip M3ow. You had fun.

In other news, a new list of managers retiring after this cup has been updated and filed.

DawgamusPrime, the Prodigal Son of /toy/ and coach of the 2013 Autumn Babby Champions is departing. If anybody out there visits /toy/, don't be afraid to hit him up on Skype at kingsman142.

Trannier Than Thou, /lgbt/ manager, heartthrob of the league, and a good friend is waving farewell. The master of PES 2013 finally turns his light out, and he will be checking his privilege with Kinsey and Hlavachek for the last time come March.

/mlp/'s own Background Pony is going back to the stables of the threads and generals once this is all said and done. We salute your farewell the same we did Nor/mlp/erson and the legendary NBD. May you reach Equestria one day. Note: /mlp/ is not ded. There are a number more people at the helm of the pony ship.

And a final public service announcement:

The 4chan Cup greatly appreciates the dedication and support at near-untold levels the /mlp/ fanbase is able to give to their team. We ask that, after the mulp matches, you stick around, find some other teams to bandwagon, and give really good players like Couchsurfer Rapist and Honey Badger some love.

That being said, any legbutt or /toy/ man out there, don't hesitate to try and contact Dawgamus or TTT about picking up the slack.

>inb4 we get relegated