A recent poll by Gallop
agos shows that there are exactly 11 adult male fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, that still have absolutely no knowledge or awareness of there being a fan-community, thriving online. The survey, performed with the help of the
NSA Facebook, has yielded what experts are referring to as "fucking impossible" results. In each of the 11 cases, the yet-unaware bronies have been watching the television show, exclusively on the Hub, only on Saturday mornings, since late 2010.
In that time, each
labrat subject has, by sheer coincidence, missed references to bronies (such as the lyrics to the original "Equestria Girls" promo), and completely avoided any postings regarding the community while on the internet.
"The mathematical probability of this happening is much akin to being struck by lightning, WHILE being attacked by a shark" says one rather trustworthy looking fellow with a calculator and a thick Scottish accent.
Researchers were dispatched to observe the habits of these fans at a distance. One subject was followed throughout his daily life, and researchers only explanation of his ignorance to the fact of the fandom's existence as "stupid fucking luck".
|
"At a distance" |
While browsing the internet, the subject somehow managed to only visit sites or research topics that had not, remarkably, been related to ponies in someway, or listen to music that had not yet been turned into a PMV. He also managed to spill coffee on his newspaper with an article about a brony convention in his local area before reading it, and was distracted by a friend while walking past Hot Topic in his local mall, miraculously missing the enormous brony merch clearance rack at the entrance to the store. The case was the same with the other 10 cases, where without trying, each has managed to not have a single brony friend on facebook, or have a single retweet with artwork in their twitter feed. They have never seen a cosplay, nor a comic, nor even a "Love and Tolerate" comment, or an invite to a meetup.
In a conference, the research team outlined an experiment in which they will expose a small group of the subjects to the fandom intentionally, and monitor changes in their overall happiness levels over-time. Some scientists hypothesize a sudden burst in excitement and happiness, followed quickly by a sharp decline into pessimism and depression, depending which communities they stumble onto first. One subject, whose favorite Pony is Rainbow Dash, will be exposed exclusively to /mlp/ first. Human Rights Bronies are protesting that experiment as "inhumane", while giggling to themselves at the fact the word includes "mane".
|
Dramatization of the Subject's upcoming experience. |
At press time one subject has just queued up the "Bronies" documentary on Netflix. Updates on this story as they become available.
those poor innocent fools...
ReplyDeleteholi shite iz da hors shoo maen!!1!1!1!!1
DeleteI hope to see more updates on this story as it develops.
ReplyDeleteI know one of the 11, its weird man
ReplyDeleteDude this is so funking awesome! I can see this in a comedy movie ware people are trying to get a guy to see something and the guy just happens to miss them all. :D this is so cool
ReplyDelete+ oh hay cool, i know "drowning in horseshoes" from youtube. to all who read this post, go on youtube and serch that name. also serch drowning in footware, thats his other channel.
gr8 b8 m8, i'll r8 8/8
Deletey
DeleteI love you Siege
ReplyDelete