Unemployment rate skyrockets following Milky Way thread

Source: http://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS14000000
A serious blow to the economy was dealt tonight, as employment rates were sent skyrocketing following the latest "Milky Way" thread. The thread, posted at around 7:25 pm EST claimed hundreds upon thousands of jobs, before it was ultimately deleted 90 minutes later. Innocent 4chan browsers, believing that the blue-board was "safe for work", were removed from their occupations in droves as bosses and supervisors nation-wide happened to see the face of the "Milk Mare of Trottingham" on their employees' computer screens. Cries of "muh job!" went largely unheeded.  President Obama has yet to release an official statement regarding the shock to the nation's economy, as stock prices plummeted across the board, amidst fears of another recession.



Despite the thread being strikingly devoid of images of a pornographic or even suggestive nature, the potential for adult-themed content was enough to warrant the majority of terminations, in industries ranging from fast-food to members of the Presidential cabinet. A press release from Christopher "Moot" Poole regarding the crash provides insight.
"Learn to rules, horsefuckers." - Moot
Economists agree that the road to recovery may be a long one.

Bafflingly, stocks and sales of milk, hand lotion, and tissue paper have spiked, despite the otherwise total-stock-crash.


"The Rules"

Posted Thursday, 16 January 2014 at 8:34 pm
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Comments (6)

  1. leathershoes16 January 2014 at 20:54

    I miss /q/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonnymolio16 January 2014 at 21:17

    NOOOOO MMMMYYY JOOOOB!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous16 January 2014 at 22:19

    WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON /MLP/ LET ALONE 4CHAN WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING! GO BACK TO WORK! GET A JOB! OTHER PEOPLE ARE BUSTING THEIR ASSES! YOU DON'T EVEN TYPE FAST! ATTENTION NEWFAGS FAILING AT LIFE: STOP BLAMING ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS ON MILKY; GO BACK TO WORK, GET A FUCKING JOB! YOU ARE A BUNCH OF LAZY BASTARDS! GET SOME WORK LIKE THE FUCKING BEANERS DO!

    HEY LOSER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON 4CHAN!? YOU SHOULD BE WORKING! HEY, NEWFAG, WHY ISN'T YOUR LOSER FRIEND WORKING!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous17 January 2014 at 02:20

    Thanks to that thread I lost my house, my car, my wife, my parents, and my jobs...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous17 January 2014 at 06:55

    I lost my sides.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous17 January 2014 at 17:36

    For god sake, why would you post a image of milky here! I wanted to keep my job so I stayed away from /mlp/, but now I have to deal wit.@A

    Ok well my boss just walked in when I was writing ---^.... Muh job....

    ReplyDelete

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