A moment of silence for our fallen brethren…
For years
to come, /mlp/ will look upon the 31st of December as a dark time. A
shining light was extinguished that day, that beacon of hope being the one and
only, Jose Mendoza.
While
making his way to a local barbers, our beloved was shot by an unknown
assailant, leaving him for dead, like yesterdays jam. His head remained
untouched by the cool stainless steel of the barber’s scissors; his killer
didn’t even allow him his one last trim, leaving his cold, dead face dirty and
unshaven.
However it
seems Jose’s classic wit and conversational prose did not just come from
nowhere, as when one of Jose’s closest friends was asked about his dear brother
in autism, he had one rib-tickling thing to say:
"He'd been cutting hair since he was 14."
This unexpected quip left the interviewer slapping his
knee and gasping for breath. It’s quite obvious that Jose was as good at
picking his acquaintances as he was at scripting detailed pony love triangles.
However, the real unanswered question is what dastardly
heathen could ever commit as heinous a crime as this? We here at Horse News
can’t confirm or deny any suspicions at this present time. But what we can
do is create outlandish theories that confirm nothing but accuse everyone…
1.
Megan
McCarthy
The most obvious, but perhaps the
most believable. Threatened by Jose’s superior episode plots and writing,
McCarthy staked out Jose’s natural habitat and waited for the perfect moment to
silence him, once and for all.
2.
An
even bigger autist
Witnesses were reported to have
last seen Jose with a large carrier bag at the time of his death. What that bag
carried has been to have been future episode ideas and storylines. Perhaps some
dastardly rogue sought those ideas to use for his own dastardly gain. Perhaps
he is lurking on /mlp/ right now…
But whoever committed this crime, it’s certain that the fandom
will never be able to fix the Jose sized hole it now must carry.
Rip in peace, Jose Mendosa.
#prayformendoza
ReplyDeleteHe may have been an autist that no one liked, but it's still pretty sad to see him gone. RIP in peace
ReplyDeleteHe was the hero we needed, but not the one we wanted.
ReplyDelete